Frustration ensues, self-doubt, etc.
So here are some of my thoughts on this subject.
First of all, I believe them unequivocally. I absolutely believe they played much better when I wasn't there! Because I remember feeling the same way when I was a student too! So, before going further, letting the student know you believe them is essential.
Then, I like to go into it a bit with the student..."Why do you think you made more errors when I'm around?"... and then we really talk about it, go into it, etc. So here are a few ideas I have come up with that may or may not be reasons for this rather annoying phenomenon.
#1. The Authority Syndrome -- Students often see teachers as being in a position of authority. After all, school teachers have control over their grades, whether they can go to a friends house or have to do homework, whether they learn the material well. RIGHT?? Of course, I disagree...I feel that a bad school teacher can present himself as such, but that a good teacher will emphasize that the students have absolute control. The students decide if they want to do the work that will get them the good grade. The students decide whether to procrastinate on their homework. The students decide whether the material is important or not for them to learn. But...this isn't true either, is it? Because, again, when it comes down to it, the teacher can still write that "F" on a test or paper which will ruin the student's weekend. But then the student could have put more effort in... (etc., etc., (yawn))
So I view the teacher/student situation from the master/apprentice paradigm. There is no absolute control. Working together and a good relationship and realizing that both people are dependent on each other is hugely important! If a student is suffering from the "Authority Syndrome", I emphasize their own part in the learning process, and that I am simply somebody who has mastered a skill and wants to help them improve their own. Which has nothing to do with authority.
Which brings me to ...
#2. One-Upmanship -- Yes, there are those teachers who constantly have to prove their greatness to their students. And yes, there are those students who constantly feel that they have to prove their knowledge to their teacher. This is just a lack of willingness to admit to yourself that you have more to learn!
I believe that in order to teach well, you must always remember that you don't know everything! Not even close. And to learn well, you must always remember that you don't know everything! Not even close. Being open to learning from your teacher (or student) is absolutely essential to building a bond of trust, and that bond is essential to creating a master/apprentice relationship, which is essential to proper music learning.
If the student is acting out of "One-Upmanship", I like to emphasize the fact that I am learning every day about the instrument that I have been playing for most of my life, and that I am learning from each student and lesson I have (even though I have taught well over a hundred students over the past seven years). Showing the student that I, too, am constantly learning, and that I must be OPEN to learning in order for it to happen, is vital for building that bond of trust. Sometimes I will even ask the student to trust me since their improvement is the number one priority in my teaching...
#3. Energy! Yes, a hippy-dippy energy discussion (that I don't feel is all that hippy-dippy at all anymore). Energy is such an important topic in lessons and can illuminate a lot in terms of why a student may err more in the presence of a teacher. Energy is constantly shifting from potential to kinetic and back again. And often, we can predict how it will shift. For example, a marble being held on a slanted surface is potential, but because of the environment (slanted surface), we know what the nature of the shift will be. Lo and behold, the marble is released and it rolls down the surface. People are like that too.
A person sitting on a couch (let's call him Fred) can be observed and with a small amount of intuition, we can predict what they will do next. And the closer to the movement we get (in terms of time), the more accurate our prediction will be. Let's say that Fred has been sitting there awhile. We may predict that he may move because of the environment of the television has shifted (commercial has come on, and he wants to change the channel). Or the environment of the outdoors has shifted (it has become nighttime, he need to turn on a light).
What if a shift happens in Fred's mind? He's become restless, bored, anxious, etc. We will usually notice a shift in posture or breathing (or even just a sense of something that we can't explain) and that will preclude him getting up from the couch to get some potato chips, to grab his laptop, to decide he needs to go for a run, etc.
All of this is just if Fred is alone. Now, what if somebody joins Fred on that couch? Now we have Fred and Ethel, each with their own shifting energy, and we have the energy of their relationship (whether they are strangers, friends, family, or partners).
Here's my point. When a person is playing a piece of music alone, they already have lots of energy shifts to deal with. Mind is perhaps unstill, kids making noise in the other room, piano bench squeaks. You add another person into the mix and now you have their energy shifts as well as the energy of the relationship of teacher to student. OF COURSE you would be more likely to mess up!!
How to Solve the Problem
Like I said at the beginning of this post, these are ideas, and have helped me out many times. But these are just some ideas, not all ideas.
#1. Take away the authority aspect. Make sure you and the student think of the relationship as symbiotic (you depend on eachother for learning) rather than parasitic (one person only depends on the other, and the second person is being robbed from the first). They should never feel like they're doing something because "you said so". They should be doing something because 1) they want to learn a skill, 2) they recognize you have mastered that skill, 3) they understand that you can guide them to mastery of that skill, and 4) that the mastery will come through your instruction.
You should be teaching because 1) your students want to learn a skill, 2) you understand the inner-workings of that skill, 3) you (through various means, including reflecting on your own apprenticeship) have developed a method on how to teach that skill to others, and 4) you understand how to give that knowledge to a student.
#2. Remove one-upmanship. Recognize that this may be going on and it is ALWAYS a sign of low self-confidence. Work on self-confidence. Maybe your own, maybe the student's. Lots of times a teacher will get frustrated because a student can't learn something that the teacher is sure that he taught well. The frustration is not with the student (though it often feels like it). The frustration is with the self (why can't I teach this student this skill? am I not good enough? etc.) But teachers often pawn this frustration off on their student. I have one thing to say: get over yourself! We're all still learning!
Lots of times a student will say something like "I did that right, didn't you hear?" Or "I've already done that". This is a thinly-disguised way of saying, I know better than you, I don't really need these lessons because I know this stuff already. Which is a thinly-disguised way of saying, I am afraid that there is something that I don't know, and that may mean I'm not as good as you. Which is a thinly-disguised way of saying, I suffer from low-self confidence.
A good teacher should recognize this and help the student realize that they are a great, smart, wonderful person already and you are here simply simply to teach them a skill.
#3. Allow the energy to shift. When a lesson begins, allow the student to take 4-5 minutes to do some SLOW, LOUD, CONTINUOUS warm ups. This will not only get their fingers working, but it will also allow them to adjust to the new energetic environment (the presence of another person, and the relationship therein). Calming the mind is essential to starting off a lesson right. Mistakes are absolutely fine...this is a time of transition and adjustment and mistakes are inevitable. But SLOW (very, very slow), LOUD, and CONTINUOUS warm ups help the "body" of the lesson to be as valuable and efficient as possible.
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TO WRAP UP
Yes, your students will usually play better on their own, making less mistakes, and being less frustrated, unless you help them retrain themselves (and retrain yourself) to:
1) view each other as an equal partner in the learning process, not an authority/unauthority figure,
2) have enough self-confidence to not need to "one-up" eachother, and
3) allow the energy shift to take place by warming-up and tuning-in to the new energetic environment.
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